Near the Old Man of Storr, Scotland I took this in 2004
Friday, March 5, 2010
Bullshit
Question: If someone told you that they hoped you'd get hit by a bus how would you feel?
I know how I felt when it was said to me earlier today by none other than my psychotic sister.
And right before that hateful scenario was wished upon me , the "c-word", among other words, was hurled at me, full throttle, I might add. It's the one that rhymes with blunt.
This person, who feels that I am her emotional and psychological punching bag, is not some kid. No, she's nearly 40 years old.
And once her personal storm is over she thinks everything's ok, and treats me like nothing happened, and often uses a voice that is so damn condescending, (I think this is the word I want.) I feel beyond rage and she calmly says shit like, "Why are you always so angry?" As a control tactic, I've finally figured that out.
What the fuck?!
Most people should never have been born, and she is on the top of the list, as far as I'm concerned, as a huge, psychotic mistake.
This is on the heels of International Women's Day. The irony, huh?
Why, you may be wondering, am I blogging about this? Because I can't keep this to myself anymore. I don't know which is worse, feeling terrified by her crazy temper, or isolated because of it.
It's debilitating to get treated like shit so often, and to have no one know or believe me. The people in my family who have seen her rage or listen to me 'complain' about it, always have an excuse for why she acted in such a manner.
I don't want to hear any more excuses! Not one.
Most people who know her think she's swell. That's cuz if she showed her friends her evilness she'd have no one. So, she figures she can take out her rage on me, primarily, because I am only a relative.
Today I have decided to no longer be quiet. That's why I've written this.
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a good place to start. I would like to do something more to change this situation. There has to be something!
ReplyDeleteWell "this situation" has needed to be 'changed' for bloody ages, but, as per usual, everyone is too scared of her and or too tired of her shit and so they all, you included, make excuses for "why she's always so angry."
ReplyDeleteI don't give a crap about why she's so angry, it's just another excuse to get away with acting like a monster!
You do realize that by continuing to make excuses you are allowing it, you condone it; you are saying it's ok. It's the same as her saying she just needs to express herself, and cutting in to people just happens to be her way.
I'm tired of taking her shit.
I hear you and I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of behavior. It's not ok and no one deserves to be treated that way. Just remember you don't have to listen or be in the same room with her when she is in her mood. Her rage is her major malfunction and has nothing to do with you, she just lashes out and you get the brunt of it. We so often hurt those closest to us mostly I think because we know they will still be there and if we were to lash out with others, they, as you pointed out would no longer be there. Just remember the good person you are and that you have pal that support you in thinking your sis is a psycho beeach
ReplyDeleteThank you, really, it's nice to have a little support for once.
ReplyDelete